you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
