What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
