he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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