dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
