It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
