Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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