hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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