Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize