Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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