i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
