I've blown a few things in my day
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
