drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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