I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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