Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
