Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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