capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
