that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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