So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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