Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
