So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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