I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
40s are totally the cure
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
