just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize