I cannot find my penis.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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