I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
