do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize