Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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