I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Randomize
