I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
