yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize