If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
