The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Randomize
