Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
