Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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