On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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