I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize