I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
