Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
