we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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