the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize
