When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
