More tranny stories later!
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
