Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
