Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
