I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
