Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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