Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
