He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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