Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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