at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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