Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
