In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
