Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Be still, my beating vagina.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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