well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
