Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
