Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
